Brown Sugar: I Love Her Still

whenHaving just watched one of my all time favorite movies Brown Sugar. I find myself reflecting on past relationships and my love of music. It was so much easier back then. The complications of adulthood has left little time to give either the attention they deserve. I find myself treating music like my mistress and my relationships like my side chick. There once was a time when I would be in the radio station all night working on one beat, I would spend days on one verse and months on one concept. Now I can’t remember the last time I even started Pro Tools, Fruity Loops or Sony Acid.

From a relationship standpoint, I can not remember the last time when I was happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not miserable. I’m content. Some might argue that is worse. I don’t have that feeling of “this person is my everything” and my all. I remember that feeling when I first met her. I remember when I first sat next to her at Market Facts. I remember how much insight we got from each other exchanging notes written on the back of surveys. The first time at Sunny Side, the morning drives to Seattle Joes before class. The late nights playing chess while listening to Coltrane and Miles Davis in her room. The first time I kissed her. Nothing moves me like that anymore. I use to love her and I love her still.


Do you remember the last time you sat down and listened to a whole album? Not just one single or a few songs. I mean a whole album. I am a tech guy. I love technology and being plugged in but as we have more access I find that we have less substance in our lives. Music artist make a bunch singles not full albums. People don’t take the time to learn about each other. They swipe left on Tinder or read profiles on OKC. I still remember the first time I listen to Biggie’s debut album Ready to Die. Before Jay-Z took over the world of Hip Hop by storm there was The Notorious B.I.G. I listened to that whole CD from start to end. I knew every song, every word, every sound. I could tell you the track number based on one note. My father was not pleased when took the headphones to hear what I was vibing too. After he destroyed the CD, I went and bought another one the next day. At that time life was Hip Hop and Hip Hop was life. She was all I needed. She had my back when I needed to rant. She understood when I needed to relax. She was funny. She was deep. She was my best friend. Nothing moves me like that anymore. I use to love her and I love her still.


If you are not familiar with the movie Brown Sugar; 1st you should watch it as soon as you can. Second the whole movie does a phenomenal job comparing a relationship and life to hip hop. The growth of hip hop from an infant to a teen of pure talent and hustle to the adult mainstream big business innovate sometimes corny but always fun person she is now is remarkable. Depending how old you are Hip Hop is at a different state for you. You can’t love hip hop without understanding her. She has grown into a wonderful woman. To love. To Hip Hop.


Walking away is a hard thing to do. You find yourself asking questions whose answers you don’t want to know. How do you know if you ended it prematurely? Should you get back with your ex? The key is to try to keep a relationship working before it is broken beyond repair. Since you are reading this I guess that didn’t work. Don’t make the mistake of confusing pining for love.

I know it is hard to really let go of someone you have loved. So you have decided to get your partner back. Well alright but how do you go about doing that?  Well first ask yourself is it worth the fight that it will take to get them back together?  Go through my rules for a break up redo and see if you should give that person another try. First I would like to get a full disclaimer out there if things don’t work out for you. I can not be held accountable for my views or advice nor should it affect any future endeavors if my own. I love you all.

I.  Why The Break Up?

You and your partner won’t agree on everything.  Maybe you’re a tad bit obsessive about technology and writing, but your partner feels that more time could be spent watching Say Yes to the Dress. That is such a minor issue. Sit down and really evaluate what your problems were. If your relationship had more up’s than downs then you should try to work it out again.


II.  Perfect Timing.

When we met I was a kid at heart in a man’s body. You were an old woman in a young things body. It just did not work out. Now look at us. I have grown up into a mature man and you have learned to enjoy life. Timing is an important factor in all relationships.  Are we this way because of time apart and will we fall back into our old routine?  Are you too busy for the other person. Was that an issue that will be fixed? Just because you miss someone does not mean the problems are going to go away.


III.  Your partner didn’t replace you.

Guys love sex, there I said it. After a break up no matter how hurt we are at the time; we will seek someone to make us feel better and forget you. In our minds that is not replacing you. We are not dating this person. There are women that feel the same way.  For the most though women cry, eat, talk and stay busy.  If more that 3 months have passed and you are still pining after your ex. Go work it out with them.


VI.  Infidelity is not the end of your relationship.

Say what? I know you disagree, but I believe couples can move past cheating and continue to build a healthy relationship.  (Not really but had to be objective here & it is possible for some so I hear)  The fact is infidelity happens. What you have to ask yourself is if you can get past that? I don’t mean for the week, month or year.  If you choose to get back with someone after they have betrayed your trust then you have to really let it go.  How do you define infidelity will go a long way to your willingness to accept or reject them. Them sleeping with someone while you were broken up is not cheating. Then again if they still live with you even if you two are broken up might change your definition. Cheating doesn’t always indicate a lack of love.  It could be a lack of judgement or respect.  Both in themselves are issues that should be addressed. I can not speak for you. This one is up to you. If you can let it go do it. If you can’t, keep it moving to the next one.


V.  Perfect Just Walked Out The Door

I come home we talk, we watch TV. Sometime we have sex sometimes we just go to sleep. We don’t even go out anymore. Going to the movies would be an event, a highlight even. Does that or something similar sound familiar? It’s not easy to appreciate your partner when they are there for you 24-7. It is even harder when you incorrectly assume that a break-up is what’s needed, when in fact all that was needed was a change.


VI.  My better Half.

You shouldn’t hold onto a relationship to save anyone, but if you become your best because of someone special, it’s not worth throwing that relationship away.  This does not mean you can turn a hoe into a house wife or husband for that matter. There are male hoes out there too.  Fabolous and Ne-yo said it best, “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together.”


VII.  Make The Pain Stop!

Your ex hurt you so you want your ex to suffer.  You have been ignoring phone calls, text, IM’s, Facebook messages but yet you later read them and cry over and over. You are only hurting yourself.  If you are beating yourself up more then you feel you are hurting to them. Cut it out go talk to them.


VIII.  That’s  Not My Name.

You hate your ex (check), you’re over your ex (check), you’re so sure of this that you’re out on a date (check). The only thing is that you can not stop thinking about your ex. The conversation seems to always work its way back to the topic of your ex.  Your subconscious is telling you something. Do you hear it? We do and so does your date, it says go talk to your ex.


IX. The One.

If every relationship you have after your ex just does not compare, then you should maybe try that not so perfect pairing once more. There is out there a relationship that’s perfect for you. Maybe that was it.


X. The Twins.

If the sex was so good that it is the only reason you miss your ex. DO NOT get back with them. This is not fair to them or you. In the end they will either become a booty call or friends with benefits. In either case if they have feelings invested in you ; they will resent you over time because obviously you do not have anything other than the wrong parts invested. If you feel broke without them and miss them splurging on you also known as tricking; DO NOT get back with them.  Not only is a sign of low character it is also not fair to them.

California Now Has Automatic Voter Registration at DMV

MLKvote A few weeks ago Alabama enacted new Jim Crow laws disguised as budget cuts. If you missed it the just of the issue is that you need a driver’s license or other form of photo ID to vote. However due budget cuts, Alabama is closing 31 satellite DMVs. Those satellite DMVs happen to be instate’s majority-black counties. Thus getting that ID that you need to vote is a lot harder. On the other hand some states are making it easier. For instance California has automatic voter registration if you are getting or renewing your driver’s license. California is just the second state in the country to pass this law, Oregon was the first.

“Citizens should not be required to opt-in to their fundamental right to vote. We do not have to opt-in to other rights, such as free speech or due process. The right to vote should be no different. ” said California Secretary of State Alex Padilla.

We can only hope that every state adopts this law. Jerry Brown, California Governor signed the bill in to law yesterday. Its not that hard to have citizens participate in democracy if a state wants to. Sadly as we have seen with Alabama its also not hard to stifle citizens right to vote as well. As you can imagine with positive laws like this that give minorities a bigger voice also make some people extremely unhappy. Some Republicans say automatic registration could lead to voter fraud if people who are not eligible are accidentally registered and also increasing voter registration will not make people more engaged citizens. I disagree with that. Just look at Australia where it is compulsory for all Australian citizens to enroll and vote in federal elections.

Blind Dates are The Russian Roulette of dating


Blind Dates are something that should be avoided at all cost. On the flip side, I’ve heard some good stories about people who have met their significant other on blind dates.

My Step mother taught me many things. One of which is, positivity is positively contagious. If you go into a situation expecting bad things to happen than guess what? Bad things are going to happen. Even if your friend is the one that forced you to go on a blind date “for your own good” as it were. That is no reason to project that distraught feeling on to your date. They too are just a bystander of this setup.
Think about it. They were forced presumably by the same mutual friend to go on this date. So if they go into the date with a bad attitude and you go in with that same bad attitude. There can only be one outcome and it’s not a happy one. Now take the same date but this time someone goes in with positivity. It’s hard to have an attitude with someone who is smiling at you and genuinely happy to meet you.

That said you should know who you’re meeting. In this day and age of technology there is absolutely no reason not to have any information about the person you are meeting. Google, Facebook and Twitter between those three anyone can be found. Use your tools. Other than that have fun.

James Bond Spectre Hits theaters November 6th!


James Bond Spectre Hits theaters November 6th! To say I am excited would be an understatement. It has been three long years since the release of the brilliant Skyfall. Bond fans have waited long  enough. It is time for a new James Bond movie. This November 6th Spectre hits theaters. This is the film’s final trailer before the movie comes out.

I am not sure if Idris Elba will play the next James Bond but if he does he will have an instant fan over here. In the meantime Craig is doing a great job. I am not one for watching trailers of films that I am excited about because I don’t want any spoilers. That said this is the last trailer before the movie comes out and it is well worth it. There are no spoilers to worry about.

Love is Costly Emotionally & Mentally. What Are You Willing to pay?

Whoever said Love don’t cost a thing told a bigger lie than when Bush said read my lips “No new taxes.” Love is expensive. Very expensive. It can be monetary, emotional, mental or even physical at times. Is it worth it? Well love can be wonderful. Love can be tragic. What becomes of love is up to you and your partner. Love takes sacrifice but it should not take more than you feel you are getting back in benefits. That is not healthy. So here are some things that you should not be doing for the sake love.

[I] Will sex for love

Repeat after me; Love is love, and sex is sex. Guys get this at a very young age. Women seem to not get this fact very often or at all in some cases. At times women feel the need to have sex as an extension of love. Listen to me, don’t do this! It is a very big mistake. Its very critical you don’t do this when you are starting to go out with someone. Sex does not strengthen a relationship if you have problems unless that was the problem in the first place. Most importantly you can’t mistake sex for love.

[II] Logically illogical

A white lie is like a white flag going up. That person has surrendered. They will no longer try. What have they given up on? Trying, that’s right; they have realized that they don’t have to be a genuine person anymore. Don’t put logic to the back of your mind people. If someone is able to lie to you over some nonsense then what happens with the big stuff. STD’s, cheating, money, life plans and love. That’s right they will lie about those too.

[III] Disappearing Act

Tell me if this sounds familiar. Your friend starts dating someone who is great but you don’t see them anymore. I don’t mean you go from girls/guys night out to only events. I mean you don’t see this person anymore at all. They don’t show up to the bar, Social Media meet ups or any of the things they use to like. Did they have high goals and for the most part were on track to meet them? Does it seem like they abandon those plans? Well guess what? This happens all the time. People lose who they are when they get infatuated with someone they date. You should never lose who you are in a relationship. If you do not keep your identity what are you brining to the table? That’s right nothing. No one wants to be with a person that has no worth. Make time for the other person but don’t follow them like a lost puppy.

[IV] Set guidelines and rules

Look if someone says they love you and you have not had a talk about being in a relationship; chances are they never will be in a relationship with you. Why? Most likely you are already sleeping with them and are committed to them because they used the words “I love you.” Newsflash, they’re not committed to you in anyway shape or form. Until you have a title other than friend. That will be what others know you as and what your non committed partner sees you as. You have to set guidelines as to what you will accept from a person. If you are alright and can justify to yourself that being friends with benefits to someone you love is acceptable then so be it. Most people cannot. So set some ground rules that can not be crossed. These rules should be used as a guideline foe how you live your life. They’re not meant to keep you or your partner in check.

[V] Why keep a penny with a hole in it

Integrity is one of the few thing you can’t buy no matter how rich you are. If that is the case why would you keep someone under the illusion that they still own such a priceless commodity. If someone cheats on you don’t give a 2nd chance to them. Why? Well catching someone who is cheating means you caught them that one time out of god knows how many other times. A person does not just lie once. One lie has to cover another lie and another lie. You are worth more than that. Don’t sell yourself short to people that are really not worth the time, effort, or love.

Dating Myths & Facts


There are a lot dating myths out there. Some are fact some are not so much. Here is the low down.

Myth: If he calls right away, he’s a clingy loser.
That is not true. In fact he just likes you and is eager to spend more time with you. He is also able to express that with words instead of playing games.

Myth: If you meet the family than you should shop for rings.
That is a no. You need to slow down. It’s a meeting and nothing more.

Myth: If he doesn’t try to have sex with you right away that means he thinks you have long-term potential.
No so fast, maybe he is already sleeping with someone else or has classified you as platonic. Then again he may really respect you and want to wait. Point is there is no way of knowing.

Myth: If his friends like you, you’re in like Flynn
His friends may be thinking about that little thing you do with your tongue. Truth is guys gossip more than women when it comes to talking about their exploits. If his friends like you that does get your foot in the door but it does not give you a place to stay.

Myth: You met him in church, so he has to good man.
Snap out of it. This is pure fiction at least myths are based on some fact. Good men are everywhere. Church is the center of everything for some people. For those people Church is a deal breaker. If this person is you than church is the only place you will find a man because that is the only place you feel one is worthy of your heart and the only place you want to look for one.

Is the Relationship all in Your Head?


Don’t assume that they want anything more than friendship with the occasional moment of weakness booty call or convenience sex. If you have made it crystal clear that you want a future with them but all you get is the run around or change of subject when you try to discus it with them. It’s a given that the two of you will not be getting married anytime soon. You’ll be lucky to have a firm commitment of exclusivity out of them. So if it seems that you are the only one supporting the relationship maybe that is because you’re the only one who actually wants to be in it. I’ve learned a few things about the dynamics of relationship building. There are three basic rules to remember when it comes to relationships. These three universal rules are a constant in every relationship. If it is not in yours; you need to revisit the definition of your relationship.

  1. Your sense of urgency to honor your partner’s wishes must be reciprocated.
  2. When building a relationship from the ground up the key is to assume nothing.
  3. If someone you care about hasn’t told you or more importantly shown you that they too care about you beyond friendship, then you might want to reconsider your relationship.

Forcing someone to be in a relationship can only lead to total disaster. I know its hard to not express your feelings when you care for someone but take a step back. Some people don’t even realize when they’re forcing the issue. I’m here to help you see if you are one of the people forcing the issue of love. Think about these signs to make sure that you’re not forcing your love on someone who has no interest in love. These signs will also help you see if you’re forcing a relationship that doesn’t exist anywhere but in your head.


You are the Event Planner
Every date that you have been on and every activity the two of you have done; so far has been your idea. You are the one that makes all the arrangements. Truth be told the other person rarely accept your invitations anyway. When they do decline your invitation they never make the follow up arrangements. If someone doesn’t care enough to make time to see you then don’t force the issue.

You’ve become Dr. Phil
One of the clear signs of an unhealthy relationship is when you become the shrink. At that point it means that you are constantly over thinking. If you’re always trying to read how the other person feels then either they don’t care or don’t want to hurt your feelings. Either way, don’t make up feelings for how you think they might actually feel because those feeling might not exist.

There’s nothing in the calendar
You’ve suggested title exchanges. You’ve mentioned being committed to each. The only response you get from them is nothing more than a blank stare. They never mention a future with you because they have no thoughts of a future with you. As adults we know that relationships call for some serious conversations. If they are always changing the subject when you’re trying to talk about how to make your relationship better or any serious topic than you might want to think about the validly of the relationship.


Remember me?
If you had your way than the two of you would talk throughout day. Unfortunately it’s not up to you. So instead the two of you are speaking once or twice a week at most. Sometimes communication lapses longer than that. If you’re the only one sending goodnight text, good morning text or constantly calling to say hello because you really just missed the sound of their voice. Fall back, meaning you’re doing too much and forcing something that is not really there. There are 24 hours in a day and a text takes less than a few seconds. If someone can’t take the few moments it takes to speak to you than they just don’t want to especially if they find the time to update Facebook. So stop initiating texts or calls.

Giver never a receiver
If you are the one always giving love and never receiving it. Get a clue. They’re not in to you.

The Cost of Friends With Benefits


I thought I’d speak on the pros and cons of the Friends With Benefits arrangement. Two movies come to mind when I think about this subject. “No Strings Attached,” starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. As well as the Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis movie “Friends With Benefits.”

For some it works and works very well. Why so well? Uncommitted sex is just that, a commitment to nothing more than sex. In most cases these situations are transparent. Nobody’s trying to be anything they’re not or make promises they don’t intend to keep; it’s all just about having fun. You should have some strict boundary: no sleepovers, insists on no cuddling and no morning-after breakfasts. You don’t want to make things messy.

That is the problem with “Friends with Benefits” sometimes, ok not sometimes; it always gets messy. “I’ve been in a few of these situations and, basically, they work until they don’t.” When you’re in crisis or in vulnerable state there is something oddly comforting about the idea of someone who you are emotionally in no danger of getting attached to.

There are however risk. Here are the signs that you are getting emotionally attached to your friend. If you see these signs trust me it will not work out. So you should seriously consider transitioning to “friends who do not sleep together” .

  • If at anytime you find yourself thinking “I actually liked him or her more than…”
  • You get invited out for an evening that seems a lot like a date.
    • You think why aren’t we dating?

As with any human relationship, there are often ulterior motives. So let’s say you didn’t listen to me and you ignored my suggestion to pull out at the first sign of attachment. You may end up being the one they are forced to stop hooking up with because it has become really dramatic or awkward. Worse you could end up sending out mixed signals. They may think that they are doing something casual but it doesn’t seem casual in your mind. If you are not careful and real with how you feel you will be caught off-guard.

The reverse is also true. You have to be very skeptical when somebody tells you that it’s OK with them. Why? Well because most of the time it’s not OK with them. They may be in such desperation to have a relationship with you that the option for FWB was the only thing they could think of as a way to keep you interested with them. The last thing you want is a casual pretense.

The sad this is that is a common experience with these kind of arragments. A friend of my mine said “It was fun at first, but of course my emotions got jerked around which was totally my fault,” she said. “Why I thought something serious would evolve still makes no sense at all”

We all know the high stakes that goes with friends with benefits. After all this person is your friend. Not just a booty call. So, why do we do it? Well as a guy I can tell you the idea of sex without consequences is one of the most alluring things on the planet. The mixture of freedom and dependability that comes with a Friend with benefits is unlike any other relationship that I can think of or experienced. You get to not commit but still kinda be committed. Non-committal commitment, if you will.

  • Sex Will Change Your Friendship

Adding sex to any relationship especially just a casual one changes it. So if you’re having intercourse with a friend it will without a doubt change the way that relationship will proceed. It’s possible that the two of you will remain friends, but you’ll never be as close as you were before you crossed that physical line. Besides that, it may take several years before you are truly able to think of your friend in the platonic way you did before you slept with him or her.

  • Casual Sex Is never just Casual

One of many mistakes people make in a “FWB” situation is thinking that casual sex with a friend is no big deal. There are usually underlying feelings of attraction involved already when two friends decide to have sex. If one person likes the other more, it can cause embarrassment and hurt feelings.
The other problem is when you have sexual intercourse your body naturally releases hormones which are shown to increase feelings of love and attraction. In other words, if you’re trying to deny your feelings, you’re kidding yourself. Often a “friends with benefits” situation begins because singles simply get tired of waiting for the right person to come along. This is especially true if you have been single for a while, or if the rest of your social group is married. It can be difficult to have patience and trust that there is someone special out there for you. But trust me there is.

  • Having a Friends with benefits comes at the cost of that friendship

This is especially true if you’ve tried to stay pals. When you meet someone new, how will you feel about your friend then? Will you really want to continue to hang out with him or her once you’ve finally fallen for someone else for real? People that were close for years as friends find it slightly awkward to be around each other when they try to have relationships with other people. More than that, when you know you have someone you can always fall back into bed with, it makes it more difficult to truly let go when you meet someone new. You end up sabotaging a new relationship before it even begins.

Your Relationship Shouldn’t Exist if you have following issues

Is your relationship perfect? Nope, no one has a perfect relationship. However these following problems should not be one you have. If you’re in a relationship with the following issues than your relationship shouldn’t exist. Don’t ignore these or they will lead to your relationship downfall fast.

We are adults not kids
In a relationship you are two halves of a whole. Your relationship should not have parent and child feel to it. Your partner should trust who you choose to be friends with. That said you should be an adult and choose your friends wisely enough to know if that friendship will upset your partner. ie. Your ex should not be your best friend. Your partner should not tell you what you can’t do. They can however suggest alternatives and be supportive. At the end of the day it comes down to trust in yourself and your partner. Trust yourself to know what you are doing and trust that your partners motives are not selfish. That they are trying to help you and you should be doing the same.

Just because the fight ends does not mean we have a resolution
This is an issue I use deal with on a regular basis and it’s not easy to fix. You have a fight and someone says “I’m sorry” and reassure you with  “I love you” than keep it moving like nothing ever happened. Now for them it may be a trivial argument and they have moved on. Sometimes you do an action. You need to change that sometimes to everytime.The problem comes in when you’re moving on without discussion and agreement on a resolution. That only guarantees that what happened will happen again. In a relationship you have to willing to sit down and discuss what happened. What you think will always be different than what they think. Why did “it” happened? If you know the cause you may be able to better understand the root problem. You may be fighting about two different things altogether. Why did “it” bothered you? No one intends to hurt someone. Finally and most importantly both of you have to willing to say and mean “I will change my behavior so that it doesn’t happen again.”

Does the Golden Rule trump everything else?
Stop and be honest with yourself. Would your partner be willing to do everything you are willing to do for them? If you would cancel a trip with your friends because (S)he planned a surprise dinner for you, then (S)he should be willing to do the same.  If you (S)he would without notice fly out to see you, then you should be willing to do the same. This is the kind of stuff that defines the character of your relationship. As you grow old together it will become more serious. Will (S)he take care of you if you break a hip? If (S)he develops diabetes will you be there? If you two are unable or unwilling to do the little things now, how can you be expected to do them later when it really matters?

90% of your self is not enough
You should never feel you have to restrain yourself in a relationship. That partner next to you should be your best friend. You should be free to say anything on your mind. You should also not have anything hidden from them. It is better to upset your partner and talk it out than let them find out something later. Even if it something you feel is small. It will not feel small to them since you had to keep it from them. Likewise, You should be able to say “I love you” or “You upset me” without fearing you’ll scare your partner away. They should be happy you care enough to share how you feel with them. If at any point you have to monitor yourself in a loving relationship; newsflash you’re not in one.

Are you able to support without being supported?
If you really love someone then sometimes you have to be a crutch for them. We all do that if we love someone but can you do if you get very little in return. You can not plan for the unexpected. Things happen out the blue. There will come a time when your partner goes through something very difficult. They will pay very little attention to you and/or not be as fun anymore. Are you secure enough in your relationship to be able to love them without getting anything in return? If your answer is a no. Then your relationship shouldn’t exist.  Side note: Unless they are going through depression they should not continue to not be themselves after a while. How long is dependent on what they are going through.

Privacy vs. Curiosity? There is only one right choice
His phone rings, do you reach for it? Her phone gets a text message notification, do you look at it? I know you are curious but if your partner trust you enough to leave their personal property with you, don’t violate that trust. I was taught if you have suspicions that motivate you to snoop into your partner’s personal digital property that is just as bad as flipping through their personal diary. You should talk to them about how you feel. If you are not satisfied, feel they are not being honest and you are still suspicions. You should break up because if there is no trust your relationship shouldn’t exist.

I’m not him & You’re not her
Baggage is part of the deal when you date someone as an adult. They are single because they broke up with someone. They broke up because they felt wronged. The problem is when they treat you like the ex that hurt them. You should not be making your partner responsible for the sh*t of your past partner.

Your sucking the life blood out of me
Does the following sound like you? You zone out when you talk to your partner on the phone for more than 10 minutes. You often read their text hours later and sometimes don’t respond till hours after that. When they call you out on it you say you were busy. Funny thing is you were not too busy to post on Facebook, update Twitter or take new Instagram pictures. You hardly have the energy or will to find time to hang out with them. This is a problem. You shouldn’t have to find time to hang out with your partner. You should make time. Your relationship should not feel like it is sucking the life blood out of you. Your relationship should add value to the other relationships you already have with your family, work, friends and most importantly yourself. None of your relationships should be failing because of the other. If you find that being in a relationship is a full time job than your relationship shouldn’t exist. Side note: If you are in a long distance relationship, you have to find time time and plan ahead.

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