Brown Sugar: I Love Her Still

whenHaving just watched one of my all time favorite movies Brown Sugar. I find myself reflecting on past relationships and my love of music. It was so much easier back then. The complications of adulthood has left little time to give either the attention they deserve. I find myself treating music like my mistress and my relationships like my side chick. There once was a time when I would be in the radio station all night working on one beat, I would spend days on one verse and months on one concept. Now I can’t remember the last time I even started Pro Tools, Fruity Loops or Sony Acid.

From a relationship standpoint, I can not remember the last time when I was happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not miserable. I’m content. Some might argue that is worse. I don’t have that feeling of “this person is my everything” and my all. I remember that feeling when I first met her. I remember when I first sat next to her at Market Facts. I remember how much insight we got from each other exchanging notes written on the back of surveys. The first time at Sunny Side, the morning drives to Seattle Joes before class. The late nights playing chess while listening to Coltrane and Miles Davis in her room. The first time I kissed her. Nothing moves me like that anymore. I use to love her and I love her still.

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Do you remember the last time you sat down and listened to a whole album? Not just one single or a few songs. I mean a whole album. I am a tech guy. I love technology and being plugged in but as we have more access I find that we have less substance in our lives. Music artist make a bunch singles not full albums. People don’t take the time to learn about each other. They swipe left on Tinder or read profiles on OKC. I still remember the first time I listen to Biggie’s debut album Ready to Die. Before Jay-Z took over the world of Hip Hop by storm there was The Notorious B.I.G. I listened to that whole CD from start to end. I knew every song, every word, every sound. I could tell you the track number based on one note. My father was not pleased when took the headphones to hear what I was vibing too. After he destroyed the CD, I went and bought another one the next day. At that time life was Hip Hop and Hip Hop was life. She was all I needed. She had my back when I needed to rant. She understood when I needed to relax. She was funny. She was deep. She was my best friend. Nothing moves me like that anymore. I use to love her and I love her still.

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If you are not familiar with the movie Brown Sugar; 1st you should watch it as soon as you can. Second the whole movie does a phenomenal job comparing a relationship and life to hip hop. The growth of hip hop from an infant to a teen of pure talent and hustle to the adult mainstream big business innovate sometimes corny but always fun person she is now is remarkable. Depending how old you are Hip Hop is at a different state for you. You can’t love hip hop without understanding her. She has grown into a wonderful woman. To love. To Hip Hop.